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Nana`s Footsteps...

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Change Color Layout

Dedicated to someone with whom I had a conversation this morning. He insisted that blue matches orange, while giving reasons supported from color rules. I didnt agree.

Do upbeat and simply elegant match each other?? :P :P

I made some changes in the color layout of this blog. What do you think?

PS. Dew, thanks for the 'lessons' yesterday. You're right. It is another distraction agent from our depression. Helps keeping us sane.

Gotta go back to my kenkyuuuuuuu.

Thursday, May 26, 2005


Closing time Posted by Hello


Kanpai.. Posted by Hello


Preparation Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

義理 Moral obligation

It is quite difficult to precisely translate concepts of Japanese emotions and moral. Giri (義理), too does not have an equivalent concept in English. The concept of giri which was formed in feudal society, is the most valued standard in human relationships: Master-subordinate, parent-child, husband-wife, brothers and sisters, friends, and sometimes even enemies and business conection

-Japanese Culture, John K. Gillespie-

Giri spirit is easily perceived when it comes to social interactions in Japan. Inevitable condition that we must get by everytime we come in contact with Japanese. The culture that they hold on into colorizes every act, every judgement, and every decision they take.

In my lab, one unique tradition they hold every year is 'cutting grass' party. This party is throwed in sensei's house, performed by cleaning up the lawn, rearranging the garden, and then terminated by doing BBQ and kanpai.Every member looked over-aroused by this idea. Recalling the spirit of giri, where all members feel immense gratitude toward sensei, this condition is then understandable.

They did every single work with liveliness, wanted to perform the best they can. Once I took a pause from doing the cutting, they soon reminded me smilingly that there are still much works to do. 頑張れ!!ナナさん、まだ あるよ。。。 
But they did great, finished all that had been started, they enjoyed sake, the discussion, the humour. Japanese who is usually temperamentally disinclined to talk, uses these drinking sake occasion to eliminate friction that might have come out during work hours.

At last, we went back home, friction eliminated, obligations completed, full stomach, tired, but ready to get back to work the next day.


Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Tension of opposites

Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.

A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.

-Tuesdays with Morrie-

Am I living somewhere in the middle? Have no wish to go back, yet feel reluctant to stay.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Toward speaking excellence

Yesterday, Zaki generously gave me a book titled Toward Speaking Excellence (Thank you, Zaki!!). Suddenly I've got things cross my mind. Preparations to the next step. Those tests that I havent prepared at all. I'll do my best for sure, but real test I have to deal with awaits me after. I dont mind not knowing what I'm headed for (cause all this years I have been living that way). But I was lucky and I always chose playing safe than taking any risk. Safe condition ended when I made that 'controversial decision on affirmative action'. That was the biggest decision I ever made so far.

Now I have to manage the undesirable side product. But every action we take in reality always leads to uncertainties. Then in the end, it is just a matter of giving the best effort in minimizing the risks and setting up the goal. Insya Allah...

I want to climb a mountain and touch the clouds above.
I wanna be anyone I wanna be and bring to life my fantasies.
I just want to be happy

Saturday, May 14, 2005


Jana's Birthday, May 7th  Posted by Hello


Save Aceh Concert in Anjo, May 4th Posted by Hello

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Lea 1998-1999

I used to hear this song long time ago. One of those days when I was very proud simply of having Perry's Chemical Engineers' Handbook, writing down some lines in the Bukom, with no particular meaning. Small traces left, some paces remained. One of those days when life was not that complicated. One of those days when I was used to think very naively.

Maybe the lyrics didnt suit at all with the condition, if I had one permission to repeat, I would come again to say the 'unspeakable sorry'... And to tell how wonderful my life is now (minus the stuck in research hehehehe)

Despite all the problems (I believe every person has his/her own problem), I still consider my life is wonderful, realizing that I have wonderful friends surrounding me and how lucky I am for having chances to see the beauty of each day while others, somewhere out there might not. All I have to do is being patient and persistence in doing strenuous effort. Ishoni ganbarimashooooo.

Riset... ke laut aja..., eh jangan ding, ga jadi dapat master dong ntar. Mau dong mp3-nya Lea, kangeeeen.

Here's to the few. Who fared - my love
Only for you-I cared-my love
I've given it hope, and I know it's only you
Encased in silence
Here's to the you-who saved-my love
Only to you-I gave-my love
I've given it thought, and it's not all that appears
Lea, how long will you still want me to want you
In and around you
Lea-my concertina
Will you still want me to want you
Here's to the you-who dared-my love
Only with you-I shared-my love
I've given it though, and it's not all that appears
So I'm asking
Lea, how long will you still want me to want you
In and around you
Lea-my concertina
Will you still want me to want you

Who cares-what the cynics say
I care-if only you're on your way
Lea-don't let the same be true
Lea-do you still want me to want you


Enervation

Its been too long I havent visited my blog. Too many things happened at once and I just had to rearrange all must-do tasks and want-to-do tasks simultaneously.

I have no significant progress in my research. Although sensei assured me that he is satisfied with all I have done, I am the one who knows perfectly that my research contains many flaws. I have spent days cerebrating and assuming, but to find solution for the problems. It was all for naught. Zero.Big question mark. Reduced to nil all the work I had done before. Okay, now stop complaining. I still believe I'll think of something, somehow..

I have to admit that I am not a kind of persevering student. I have propensity of being procrastinator. I want many but do little. Realizing this fact doesn't do much in me, this condition is going on all the same. And in the end all that is left is regret. What's the problem with me anyway? (Did I say 'Stop complaining'?? Here I go again...)

Meantime, any other things don't work out well, either. I spent days in the apartment, establishing social communication with imaging, no real contact with human, fleshy human. I dont think it is healthy, just make my astigmatism even worse. And I feel even more needy to my computer than anything in this world, for this is the only thing that is able to offer solution to all problems I am facing at the moment...